spyduck:

ronaldkn0x:

why the FUCK cant humans hibernate its 2013 what the hell is obama doing

hibernating

you know I have yet to meet an attractive republican

I hate math tests. It’s not necessarily only because There are people who perform poorly under pressure, like I do, but because they do such a terrible job of representing an individual’s knowledge. After months of learning, how is it fair to have my grade rest on a single piece of paper? Not only that but testing is supposedly because they want to see if we understand the concepts. What if we do all the work right, but get a single digit wrong? Should that one overlooked mistake make or break my career? My future?

ungenuine:

ontheneed2know:

metallikato:

generallegendary:

metallikato:

jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

• bop it
• pull it
• twist it

• harder
• better
• faster
• stronger 

You pull your left hand in
You pull your left hand out
You pull your left hand in
And you shake it all about!

Cha cha real smooth

Twist and Shout

Pump it

your happy and i know it but for gods sake dont clap your hands

i have this blog theme in my head and i want it so bad but i lack the skills to create it so im left surfing the internet looking for a substitute to whats in my head im so angry

tickettoheaven:

chafing-nipples:

dangermat:

when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicide

that’s pretty fucking metal

I’d say it’s pretty fucking

bananas

you could even say this s*** is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

drarna:

instead of learning from my mistakes i like to dwell on them until i have a panic attack

then rinse and repeat

krawkward:

theswampghoul:

how much can one hint that their character is a flaming homosexual without getting a warning on neopets

that unicorn looks absolutely terrified

bemusedlybespectacled:

if you ever think mythology is boring or serious business or whatever shit

just remember that cerberus, the hell-hound and guard dog of the underworld, comes from the root indo-european word ḱerberos, which evolved into the greek word kerberos, which got changed to cerberus when it went from greek to latin

ḱerberos means “spotted”

that’s right

hades, lord of the dead, literally fucking named his pet dog spot

liveimaginative:

classy-dick:

do you have a friend who’s usually a sweetheart but when they’re angry they’re the creepiest and the most cruel motherfucker you ever saw in your whole life

i am that friend

adventuresonpaper:

I’ll come back for you i whisper as i caress the books i can’t afford

timelordy-teganbreann:

timelordy-teganbreann:

swim-two-birds:

If you’ve never read Shakespeare’s plays, you’re missing out on some quality zingers.

are you telling me that shakespeare was doing your mom jokes in his plays

who the fuck americanised my spelling of “mum” u lil shit i’m australian i don’t want your eagle freedom i have drop bears and boxing kangaroos u wanna go m8